Family Still Gone

I am sitting in sacrament meeting at the Spanish branch. Cambria and the kids are out of town. I will finish the semester and fly out to Utah to meet them in one week. It is interesting that just a few days away from them, and I already feel the impact of their not being here. True we can video message, but it is not the same. The house has become just a house, it is them that make it a home.

This semester has been a difficult one with many stresses and failures, contrasted by some joys and successes. I have never felt such a range nor depth of emotions in such a short time. It is in times like these, with my family gone for even a few days, that I realize that they are my base, my sanity. I don't think this would be possible without them, or at least it would be much worse.

Recently on campus we have been addressing ideas to help reduce stress and depression among medical students. I can't help but feel for those who don't have their families close, or for those who may not feel like they have a good group of friends around them. I am lucky to have both, but it is my family that makes all the difference. There is an indescribably joy that accompanies your children yelling "daddy!" when you get home, or the way that they cuddle up to you when you wake them up in the morning. It is in these moments that all other stresses melt away, sometimes to tears, both tears of pain for having been away and tears of a happiness and love that cannot be contained. I won't even begin writing about my sweet wife or I will cry too many tears of gratitude and joy while sitting in public.

When I was a child I thought I knew love and then I became a man. As a man I thought I knew love but then I became a husband. As a husband I thought I knew love but then I became a father. As a father I thought I knew love but along came another child. I look forward to my future as a husband, father, and eventually a grandfather. What emotional depth will that bring, I can't even imagine.