Family Still Gone

I am sitting in sacrament meeting at the Spanish branch. Cambria and the kids are out of town. I will finish the semester and fly out to Utah to meet them in one week. It is interesting that just a few days away from them, and I already feel the impact of their not being here. True we can video message, but it is not the same. The house has become just a house, it is them that make it a home.

This semester has been a difficult one with many stresses and failures, contrasted by some joys and successes. I have never felt such a range nor depth of emotions in such a short time. It is in times like these, with my family gone for even a few days, that I realize that they are my base, my sanity. I don't think this would be possible without them, or at least it would be much worse.

Recently on campus we have been addressing ideas to help reduce stress and depression among medical students. I can't help but feel for those who don't have their families close, or for those who may not feel like they have a good group of friends around them. I am lucky to have both, but it is my family that makes all the difference. There is an indescribably joy that accompanies your children yelling "daddy!" when you get home, or the way that they cuddle up to you when you wake them up in the morning. It is in these moments that all other stresses melt away, sometimes to tears, both tears of pain for having been away and tears of a happiness and love that cannot be contained. I won't even begin writing about my sweet wife or I will cry too many tears of gratitude and joy while sitting in public.

When I was a child I thought I knew love and then I became a man. As a man I thought I knew love but then I became a husband. As a husband I thought I knew love but then I became a father. As a father I thought I knew love but along came another child. I look forward to my future as a husband, father, and eventually a grandfather. What emotional depth will that bring, I can't even imagine. 

Spring Semester

Christmas break was not long enough but it was nice to be home after celebrating the new year. We started off the new semester like a rocket launch into new material. The first day we had 5 straight hours of lecture, and a schedule that has not let up since. Our test schedule is crazy and stressful, but I often step back and look at just how awesome the material is I am learning. What a blessing I have to be here, to have the family that I have, to have the support of the friends around me who are in the same boat, and share my worries.

I am continually reminded of how perfect this place is for me and my family. DMU felt like the right decision from the beginning and I realize more each day just how perfect it is for my family. We have had so many opportunities here. Cambria has the best support system I could have ever asked for. That was one of my major factors in deciding on a medical school. I can struggle through any difficulty at any school regardless of the quality of the school, but to arrive here and see that the quality of both the family support and that of the school far exceeded my expectations had been a testimony to me of the Lord's plan for me and my family.

Not only do we receive so much, but we also have the opportunity to serve often. There are people around us who need lifting up, and while I feel myself not in a place to be uplifting to others due to my own time constraints and trying to juggle my schedule, I am consistently placed in the path of others to help them in more ways that I thought possible to me.

Cambria and the kids left to Utah for her maternal Grandmother's funeral and to help around the house after her mother's GI surgery tomorrow. I sat by myself in church today, looking at the families and fathers playing with their children on their laps, and had the deepest desire to hold my children again. They have only been gone a few short days and will be gone another week.