Once class started though, school became a downhill locomotive with no brakes, somehow picking up both speed and cargo along the way. I have never felt so many ups and downs physically and emotionally. This has been the hardest thing I have ever done.
In a text message with my mom a few days ago, she asked how am doing. I replied, "I am good, tired, worn out, happy, frustrated, stressed, relaxed, fulfilled - all wrapped up in one. But I am also over the top excited that I have the chance to be at a medical school, and the blessing to learn the things I am learning. How insanely awesome yet humbling is that?"
That doesn't even begin to sum it up though. Before classes began, we were the first to move in and had the opportunity to meet all of the other families one by one as we helped them move in. I tried my best to include everybody and create a family environment. The guys are awesome and I love every one of them. I don't doubt that any of them would drop everything to help any of us in need. After Cambria and the kids, the guys have been the single most important support to me.
Sometimes the mechanics of medical school and studying so hard get in the way of us really getting to know each other as well as I would like. I get along well with all of them but there are a few of the guys who I particularly enjoy talking with. I have had to distance and isolate myself from them at times because I would spend more time talking with them than studying.
Cambria is absolutely amazing. I can't begin to list all the things that she does and the way she supports me and the kids. She knows she is busy but she refuses to see it that way. She constantly says that she does a lot but it's not bad and she enjoys her time at home with the kids. Coming home to her and the kids is the highlight of my day. I hear "daddy!" as Lynlee runs to me and gives me a giant hug. She holds onto me while saying "daddy's home, daddy's home" over and over. Since Benson has learned to walk, he comes running too with arms stretched toward me and a huge smile on his face. Me has recently been more able to calm down and has been just laying his head on my shoulder for a long time. It's such a different reaction from when he was a bit younger and wiggly and crazy ALL the time. Cambria is often running around trying to cook dinner or clean up something but she stops and spends a moment with me.
Not every day coming home is perfect, but the perfect times come when I most need them after a difficult day. I do my best to help and support Cambria where I can but I know none of it equals what she does each day. She has been working a few times a day in the daycare at the YMCA, while the kids play there too. She goes to the gym often, does carpools to Lynlee's preschool, works as a swim coach at the YMCA, does play dates, does the shopping, keeps our budget, and selflessly takes care of everything in our lives. I can't express enough my love and gratitude for the blessing she is to us.
The kids are growing up too fast. Lynlee shows us something new she has learned every day. She grows taller, smarter, cuter, and more independent every day. She has her ups and downs in learning what is right and wrong and how to act, but overall she is the sweetest most helpful little girl. She does so much for Cambria and loves and helps Benson so much. Benson is becoming such an opinionated little guy with expressing things he both loves and hates. One second he will be super excited, then will let you know that he doesn't like that certain food, or something. He is such a boy. He can be as loud and crazy as he can be calm and cuddly. I love his little personality as we see more of it each day. Both of the kids love life, are happy, and do more to bring love and joy into our home than we ever could as parents. I know I make an impact on them, but it is Cambria and her goodness and love that influences them most. She is my rock and theirs.
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